Thanks, I needed that!

In the 1970s and 1980s, there was a television commercial for a men's aftershave called Skin Bracer. In the commercial, men would slap their faces and say, "Thanks, I needed that." They knew that putting alcohol on a freshly shaved face was going to cause pain, so it was their way of taking the worst attribute of the product, the pain, and turning it into a positive – a little pain meant conditioned skin and ready to face the day – thanks, I needed that.

The point is that sometimes, things that cause pain are good for us. Think "no pain, no gain," the mantra of weightlifters. One of the greatest joys of my role at RAB is engaging with managers and sellers daily, discussing their challenges and thinking of solutions.

In our Leadership MasterClass (Our next virtual session starts October 3; click here for details), we have a lot of discussions on the difference between wishes and standards. The main difference is that a standard has a consequence for nonperformance. This means that if a seller isn't performing to the level expected, some form of discipline is required. Discipline is something you do FOR someone, not TO someone. Because you care, you provide the discipline, coaching and course, correction is required. In discussions with sellers, they usually have two primary questions:

How am I doing?

How can I get better?

Sellers, or anyone in any role, want to know how they are doing. It's called job clarity. In my experience, we all want to get better and must understand how we are doing in our current role. Managers and leaders often feel ill-equipped or even downright scared to have "the conversation" with someone not meeting performance standards.

With the right mindset and technique, these "difficult" conversations can lead to significant improvement in performance, a shared commitment to growth and greater employee satisfaction. "Thanks, I needed that."

In her recent Harvard Business Review article,How to Talk To An Employee Who Isn't Meeting Expectations , Jenny Fernandez offers some tips for treating difficult performance conversations into opportunities for additional collaboration:

Set the Stage for Collaboration – You can start by stating, "We should have an honest and open dialogue. My goal is to give you clear feedback and ensure we are collectively working toward your development."

Take A Look Back – I'd like to invite you to self-reflect and assess your own performance. Did you accomplish all your goals and meet the expectations set? Can you share your perspective on what's working well and what isn't?

Understand Their Values – Employees often prioritize purpose, impact and meaningful work, which influences their sense of engagement and commitment to the organization. Before initiating a conversation about performance improvement, take the time to understand the employee's values.

Give Constructive Feedback – Deliver feedback with clarity and specificity. Provide clear examples – not hypotheticals, to ensure the employee understands exactly how the work they're delivering isn't aligning with what's expected of them. Avoid ambiguity.

Give Positive Reinforcement – Now that you've taken the time to look back and assess what's happening, reset the focus to the present state. Set the tone of the conversation by acknowledging the employee's strengths and desire to do well.

Provide an Actionable Path Forward – "How would you handle a situation if…?" This forward-looking reframing of feedback helps remove the stigma of criticism and puts your direct report in a state of mind where they're able to accomplish a different result; after all, we can't change the past.

Role-playing isn't just for sellers. If you're a manager who needs to have a "difficult conversation" with one of your team members, consider practicing first with a colleague, partner or friend. Rehearsing these critical conversations can be the difference between having them go smoothly or going off the rails.

Jeff Schmidt is the SVP of Professional Development. You can reach him at Jeff.Schmidt@rab.com. You can all so connect with him on X and LinkedIn.